Leis My Mountie Sold Me
by SDWolfpup
Word Count: 900
Summary: "Fraser, I look ridiculous." "That's only because you don't have the grass skirt on yet."
Disclaimer: Not mine, no matter where they are. These characters are owned by Alliance and affiliates. I'm just borrowing them.
Author's Note: Done for ds_closet's Fic challenge #2; the prompt I chose was "dancing."
"Fraser, I look ridiculous." Ray dropped his arms to his side in defeat.
"That's only because you don't have the grass skirt on yet. It will look more natural once you're properly attired."
"Properly attired? Men do not wear skirts, Fraser, especially grass skirts. I'm allergic to grass. Do you know how much that would itch?"
"Don't be silly, Ray. You wear shorts under the skirts." Fraser lifted Ray's arms back up so they were parallel with the floor. "Let's start from the beginning. We want to impress our kumu hula with how far we've gotten."
Ray glared at him. Only Fraser would come to Hawaii and decide to take hula lessons. "Normal people would be at the beach right now," he muttered aloud, watching Fraser in the mirror. At least Fraser looked just as ridiculous as Ray did. But that was probably because of the Hawaiian shirt he'd made Fraser wear. And the sandals that looked so unusual on the Mountie's pale feet. And the leis. Ray had been given one when he got off the plane; Fraser got six. The sweet scent of flowers had followed them ever since because Fraser wore them everywhere: to the hotel when they checked in (where Fraser had somehow managed to get them upgraded to an ocean view suite); to the luau the second night (Ray had sat next to a classic Hawaiian beauty and had stuffed himself on roast pig and pineapple trying to impress her); on the tour of the pineapple plantation (after the luau, he hadn't wanted to see another pineapple again, but Fraser had insisted it was important to learn about one of the economic cornerstones of Hawaii); and to every hula class they'd taken all week.
"All right, Ray, let's start." Fraser bent down and hit play on the tape recorder, then positioned himself next to Ray, matching his pose. The music started, a simple rhythm set down by a steel drum, with a ukulele playing tag all over the beat, leading the song onward. Ray tried to remember the story they were telling, something about the sun rising and fish swimming in the ocean. He moved his arms in a flowing, wave-like motion and stamped his foot a few times to the beat. But when he took a step forward and pivoted left, he slammed right into Fraser.
"Ah, geeze, I can't do this, Benny." Ray rubbed his chest where Fraser had elbowed him while Fraser stopped the recorder and hit rewind.
"Yes you can, Ray, you just have to concentrate. Remember the story; that will lead you to the correct steps."
Ray laid down on the cool wooden floor, arms and legs thrown wide. It had to be ninety degrees today and the softly twirling overhead fans weren't doing much good with all the movement. He turned his head to stare outside at the sunlight, imagining the clear blue of the sea just a few blocks away.
Fraser sat down next to him, resting his arms on his knees "You know, a hula performance was often a serious religious event. If dancers made even the smallest mistake during the actual ceremony, it not only nullified the entire performance, but it was believed it would bring bad luck on the dancer."
"You're not helping."
"That's why dancers would sometimes be secluded in order to learn the dance successfully, not emerging until the ceremony. Perhaps something like that would help you."
"Don't you have some Inuit story about how a seal who never learned to swim still got to lay in the sun and have beautiful women bring him mai tais?"
Fraser stood suddenly and turned to face the mirror. "If you'd rather spend your time lying on the beach instead of exploring all of the cultural history of Hawaii, that's fine, Ray. You don't have to do this." Even though Fraser's tone was friendly, Ray could feel the annoyance rolling off of him.
Mounties. Who knew they could be so sensitive? Ray pushed himself back to his feet and assumed the starting pose. "If just messing up gives you bad luck, quitting's got to be deadly. I'd like to make it out of Hawaii alive, Benny." He grinned and was rewarded with a quick, grateful smile.
Fraser walked over to the closet and opened it up. Ray heard rustling. "It might be best to practice in the outfit. That might help your concentration." He poked his head out. "You can wear either a skirt or a malo."
"Well it's not gonna be a skirt. Give me the malo." Fraser handed over a huge wad of green cloth with an entirely too innocent smile. Ray stared at it in confusion. "What, it's like a scarf?"
"No, you wrap it between your legs and then around your hips."
"You mean like a diaper? I ain't wearing a diaper, Fraser." He handed it back, resigned: Fraser already had a skirt picked out for him. "You're not as clever as you think."
"I wouldn't know what you mean, Ray."
Ray snorted. He pulled the skirt on and tied it tight around his waist while Fraser got into his own skirt.
Fraser started the music once more. "Arms up." Ray did as he was told, staring at them both in the mirror. Oh yeah, this was lots better. He shook his head. At least his family wasn't here to see this.
"Now, imagine you're a fish, Ray!"
It was going to be a long vacation.
-END-